My journey with sexual orientation and gender identity difference began several years ago. I remember the story which did the rounds in the Gaborone of the 1980s, of a sting operation conducted by the police, with the apparent intention of humiliating the victim – a prominent member of our small society. Prior to my becoming a student at the University of Cape Town in the 1980s, homosexuality was never on my public agenda.
It was a subject glimpsed out of the corner of my eye. This changed once I had joined Rape Crisis – a radical feminist group which provided counselling and shelter support to women survivors of male violence. I realized, rather soon after my first meeting, that I was one of a very small minority of straight women in the group! It took a bit of getting used to, but I adjusted once I began to see lesbian women as people first, women second and lesbians third.
In other words, I no longer defined them in terms of their sexual partners, but as fellow human beings, first and foremost! I began to advocate for their rights – and was eventually asked …. ‘’So, tell me, why are you holding the candle for the gay community?’’.
Unfortunately for them, there was no ‘’confession time’’ – I was doing it because it was the right thing to do – to speak up for fellow human beings to be respected! However, my preference for short hair and trousers caused some consternation amongst some people … in the 1980s an elderly woman in South Africa asked me whether I was a boy or girl when we found ourselves in the women’s toilet in a department store!
There was someone whom I had known since primary school. In the 1990s, as we both matured and ended up starting our first jobs, I would often ask after his wife. For a long time he would smile and then give his characteristic giggle … until one day, in a rather exasperated voice, he said …’’Alice, I do not have a wife. I am gay!” … to which I responded …”Why did you not say so from the beginning???”. His name? Mike Olivier.
DITSHWANELO was called upon to assist a young man who had been arrested for having sex ‘contrary to the order of nature’. The expatriate man who had been involved, left the country. The Motswana man was left to face the music on his own. Attorney Duma Boko eventually took up the case. Kanane was acquitted.
Over the Easter weekend in 1998 (when Gaborone was at one of its quietest and the DITSHWANELO office offered privacy) DITSHWANELO invited Tina over from GALZ (Gays and Lesbians of Zimbabwe). Word spread through the community and that first ever weekend of reflection and engagement eventually led to the establishment of the DITSHWANELO project called Lesbians, Gays and Bisexuals of Botswana (LeGaBibo) – this clearly predated the current global standard of LGBTIQ! We produced the LeGaBiBo Charter aimed at ensuring that the Community of Lesbians, Gays and Bisexuals could live their lives with dignity, as human beings. One of my priests, the late Richard Chance, proved to be a wonderful scribe – he wrote up the Charter, capturing the aspirations of the slowly emerging Community.
In spite of its emergence, funding partners did not have these issues on their priority list … and so DITSHWANELO continued to provide support to the Community, where and how best it could. This included attending a Conference in Paris in the late 1990s-early 2000s, co-hosted by Norway and France.
Through my first engagement with trans-persons, I returned home enlightened, to forever banish from my public speeches, the introductory ‘’Ladies and Gentleman’’. Since then I always refer to ‘’Distinguished Guests, each and every one of you’’… the learning never stops!
In about 2012, DITSHWANELO received a call from a distraught woman. She wanted to bring her niece to the office. Why? Well, her niece had now ‘’become a nephew’’ and the aunt had nowhere to turn … When I walked into the room where they were seated, I saw a young, lanky man. I saw no niece! He told me his story.
He had always known that he was different. He had resented having to do domestic chores while seeing boys playing outside. He had had to endure painful remarks directed at him in his village. These included …’’that one is just a man in a dress’’. He had finally had enough and came to town to see his aunt. The aunt picked up the story at this point ..’’I went to the bus rank to meet my niece and found my nephew. I just do not understand’’. We took the matter up with the medical profession. They confirmed that he was indeed a male. He would however, need medical intervention to enable him to live a fuller life.
So you see, LeGaBiBo began life as a seed, an idea, a project of DITSHWANELO. These were the days of Mike, Sexy, Rogers and Richard. Community members were hesitant to stand up to be counted due to the uncertainty of societal responses to their exposure.
There had been cases reported in Gaborone, of people who had been driven to commit suicide due to rejection from and shame felt by their families; of people who had been assaulted and insulted because others discriminated against them; of public shaming through police sting operations, etc.
Due to the hesitation, DITSHWANELO was often asked to be the public face of the Community by making public statements, attending meetings and reporting back; used its Annual Human Rights Film Festival to raise public awareness; and was one of the first to include ‘’Others’’ as a category in those ubiquitous registration forms which always want to know ‘how many male’’ and ‘’how many female’’ workshop attendees there had been – categories, so beloved by the funders! DITSHWANELO’s Sunday night films drew increasing crowds as Community members summoned the courage to speak as facilitators of post-screening discussions. The gay members, through Mike, were instrumental in the development of the project. LeGaBibo was later shifted from DITSHWANELO to BONELA as its members who worked at BONELA (another seed project of DITSHWANELO), became more involved in its steering, through Monica and the late Mame.
LeGaBiBo gave birth to other organisations – Rainbow Identity Association led by Skipper; Men for Gender Justice led by Junior, Pilot Mathambo Centre for Men’s Health led by Pilot and Friends of Diversity Organisation led by Bonny. DITSHWANELO continues to mentor and support different Community groupings, where such is requested.
The Other Foundation – a regional foundation supporting the growth of the Community – was a first African Foundation of its kind. I have been a member of the Board for some years now, and can bear witness to the exponential growth of the Community within our southern Africa region through the various Kopano gatherings.
Rainbow Identity Association was registered and some years later, so was LeGaBiBo. Interestingly, it took litigation for the latter and not so for the former, for registration. A learning perhaps about different strategies and approaches?
Then suddenly, as if out of nowhere, from amongst the global discussions about Yogyakarta Principles on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity, entered the donors or partners, as they prefer to be called. Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity and Expression (SOGIE) became a ‘fundable’ issue. My hope is that the organic dynamism which is the lifeblood of any social organising, will not be displaced by the pedanticism of conformity to Log Frames and outputs and indicators and risks and multiplier estimates … this can lead to fossilisation and mechanical application of rights and responsibilities devoid of true contextualisation.
Our human rights struggles find reflection elsewhere on our continent. How do we find our true selves in relation to what the African Commission refers to as ‘’African values”? These have been used to de-register the Observer Status of the Coalition of African Lesbians. Without doubt, we ARE Africans. What does that mean for SOGIE or LGBTIQ issues, which are human rights issues?
Looking back it is clear that we have all come a long way .. from the apologetic, the hidden, the fearful and cautious … to the unapologetic, the open, the brave and assertive. Let us however remember that we are Batswana with cultural contexts based on our value system of botho. The enduring question is: what can each and every one of us do to ensure that everyone, including the Community, lives their lives with dignity, within our Botswana context. I salute the early pioneer activists whose names are often lost in the midst of the harried contemporary world of fundraising – they include Mike, Sexy, Richard, Rogers, Boyce, Monica and Mame …a huge ‘’thank you’’ to all of them, and a ‘’thank you’’ to each and every one of you, distinguished guests, for attending and participating in this event today.
